There are 5 types of relationships that you will be working on building in recovery and they look a little something like this: Higher Power, you, family, friends, and partner. This may seem like a daunting task since almost all of your relationships have become toxic and sick during addiction, but when you take some simple steps towards each of these relationships, you will be amazed at how much love you have to give, and receive.
The great news about this journey into building healthy relationships is that when you work the 12-steps in your program, you will have the opportunity to start with your Higher Power, which ultimately is what helps you build all of your relationships.
When you work on this relationship, you are able to have the ability to have successful relationships in general. Getting to know your Higher Power and putting them first in your life doesn’t mean that you can’t have a relationship with yourself or others, in fact, it’s the complete opposite. It is because of this bond that you will even have healthy interactions with others and that is why it is so important.
You have ignored yourself for a very long time and it’s time you learned how to have a healthy interaction with yourself. You deserve love and care, but you can’t expect to get it from anyone else if you are not giving it to yourself first. If you treat yourself with respect and love while also being humble, then others will, too. If they don’t, then you will have boundaries that protect you because of the relationship you are building with your Higher Power and yourself.
The members of your family that you want in your life, but may have been strained from addiction, will need some repairing as well. The healthier you get and the longer you stay in recovery, the more opportunity you will have at reconnecting with those you love. This may or may not be an easy task depending on how badly the bridge has been burned, but all you have to be about is the action and if the relationship is meant to be mended, it will be, as long as you don’t try to rush and control the process. This is most definitely where your Higher Power and the willingness to turn over your fears and expectations to them comes into play.
Whether you are trying reconnect with old friends or new ones, you are what you will attract. Working your relationship with your Higher Power and yourself will help you build, or re-build, healthy relationships with friends. Whoever you surround yourself with could help build you up or break you down, so make sure that you are connecting with people on the same spiritual journey as you are on.
Many of you may have never had a healthy relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend, and so skipping through all the other relationships to get this one fast, will defeat the purpose of inviting someone special and healthy into your life. Who you are right now, will not be the same person years to come. It takes time to heal and recover from addiction, why rush the process by inviting someone into your life that may be destructive? You will know when you are ready to have a healthy relationship, so be patient.
No matter how little or long you have in recovery, the journey into building relationships takes time and effort, so give time its place. Everything comes exactly when it is supposed to come.
Do you have experiences with relationships in recovery that you feel will help others? Please feel free to share in the comment feed below.