Have you ever wondered what codependency is? With Valentine’s Day coming up, you might be anxious over whether your relationship is healthy or instead in jeopardy due to having a complete misinterpretation on the idea of love.
What Is Codependency?
What is codependency really? There are five main patterns that can be pulled out from codependent relationships: denial, low self esteem, compliance, control, and avoidance. By learning about these categories that best describe what is codependency and how it can stem later on in a relationship; you should be able to get a clearer image of what an unhealthy codependent relationship may look like.
The individual suffering from codependency issues with a pattern of denial will have trouble deciphering their feelings. They may struggle to understand their emotions and put them into words. This could mean they’re dependent on other people to explain how they feel. These types of codependents can tend to lessen, change, and deny the authentic nature of their feelings when they do know what they genuinely feel as a way to manipulate their partners into coinciding. When denial is involved as the pattern of a codependency issue, dishonesty can become a great pressing issue of concern.
Many codependency traits can stem from having a low self-esteem, making this pattern prime. People with this pattern tend to be indecisive and constantly criticize themselves in harsh judgement. They typically view themselves as never being good enough. Because they view themselves lowly, they may commonly rebuke any type of appraisal from others and yet paradoxically, they may strive for acceptance of the people around them.
Codependents who struggle with the compliancy dynamic fear being authentic. They are keen on hiding their true thoughts and feelings while going the extra mile to please others. To avoid being turned down, they will settle their own beliefs.
Control is largely involved in patterns of codependency relationships. This category of individuals is constantly trying to persuade other people to see matters their way. They often give people their advice without being asked and can grow upset when it isn’t taken. Blaming and placing shame on others to manipulate the situation but then using charm to come off caring can be their typical fashion to get what they want from others.
Avoiding codependents welcome others into their life that they know will turn against them to shame and reject them. They are harsh critics of others. With the tendency to repress their emotions, these codependents fear being vulnerable. They are likely to bring people toward them, only to quickly push them right away.
So what is codependency when it comes to relationships? There are different patterns and traits that add up to the composition of codependent people. Codependent relationships are unhealthy because either one person and sometimes both people involved have issues going on that should be brought to the surface to be dealt with instead of kept at bay. When the matters are pushed down, it only dampens the relationship. This can cause a lack of a healthy understanding in proper boundaries in other interpersonal relationships, general low self worth, dependency to alternative sources like alcohol and/or other drugs, and intimacy issues. Understanding that there are five main patterns can help in the process of identifying specific types of codependency, so that you can take a better look at what is codependency.
Do you think you might be suffering from codependency? Look up Codependents Anonymous meetings near you.