Blaming others or yourself can be a common behavior for people who have to deal with addicts and alcoholics when they are active in their disease. Here are some simple suggestions to free yourself from blame.
How To Stop Blaming
Not Your Fault
Their addiction is not your fault. They also aren’t acting out in their addiction to hurt you and it’s not for a lack of love that they won’t stop using or drinking. Recognize that your loved one is suffering from a disease and that in order for them to get better; they will have to work a program of recovery. You cannot fix them and sometimes letting go while supporting them through their process of recovery is the best thing you can do.
When we cast blame on ourselves and others we can tend to become resentful. Let go of expectation of how you think things should go or how you think you should feel. Being angry at yourself or your loved one for the disease of addiction is not healthy and solves nothing. When you can recognize that you are dealing with a disease, healthy actions can be taken. Helping your loved one into treatment is supportive, while giving them money to get high or drunk is enabling. Make sure you are supporting and not enabling and you will find your resentments will come less and less.
Let Go Of Control
It can be difficult when you are dealing with an addict or alcoholic. Try not to take anything they say or do personally, it’s not about you. Remember that they are suffering from a deadly disease that’s behavioral symptoms are not as obvious as when someone is physically sick. Attending Al-anon or Nar-anon can help you stay grounded and show support so you can recover as well.
You cannot fix anyone and taking care of your needs and emotional wellbeing is not selfish, it’s necessary. Make sure that you are not neglecting yourself and enabling the addict or alcoholic in your life. For more information on how to help your loved one recover from the disease of addiction contact us now at 1-877-975-4837. There is hope and healing from addiction.