When your loved one is recovering from addiction, the effect that sobriety has on their behavior may become clear through them being able to show up for life in ways they were unable to before compared to when they were actively abusing alcohol and/or drugs. Being able to notice this change in your loved one can set the foundation in place for rebuilding trust in your relationship with them.
Showing Up For Life
It can seem like nothing short of a miracle when your loved one remembers events people typically shouldn’t forget, like your birthday, Thanksgiving, or even something as simple as feeding the dog. These are the types of actions your loved one couldn’t keep track of or plain and simply neglected due to the unmanageability in their life cause by their addiction to alcohol and/or drugs. Now that your loved one is clean and sober today, they are able to think much more clearly and are removed from selfish tendencies that keep them astray. When having these thoughts removed, your loved one is able to have their focus shifted to obligations and live a manageable life. They aren’t so consumed in their obsessions and are free to think about others, like you. Recovering from addiction allows your loved one to be placed back in the present moment, engage in reality, and show up for life.
What does it mean for your loved one to show up for life?
When your loved one was actively abusing substances, they may have been the type of person who never came home, failed to respond to phone calls, struggled to keep a job, and only were concerned about their drinking and/or drugging. The most important driving thought on your loved one’s mind was chasing a feeling that would only last for a certain period of time before it wore off. Showing up for life means your loved one wants to build relationships with others instead of turning to substances to fill a void in their life. Your loved one wants to connect with human beings and create memories now. They are the type of person that knows what day it is and have already mailed out cards so that they will arrive to receivers, like you, before the occasion. These acts prove to show a new sense of responsibility in your loved one, which wasn’t noticeable when they were active in their disease. This is crucial because you should be aware of how far your loved one has come and credit their sobriety to their positive behavioral change.
How this can help you gradually work on forgiving loved one
When your loved ones can show up for you in their sobriety, they show you how they aren’t the same person they were when they were out there drinking and/or abusing substances. This is huge, especially if you haven’t entirely forgiven your loved one for the actions they have committed from when they were active in their disease. Forgiveness may come as a gradual process over time and through seeing continual changes in your loved one. Rebuilding trust is a process that can’t necessarily be rushed, but through seeing your loved one continually show up for life, more trust can be built in your relationship with them.
Showing up is a pivotal part of the recovery process for your loved one because when they are able to become part of the life they are living, they show how they are present and not living in their own world revolving in their own selfish tendencies. The world begins to appear much larger than the one they once knew before when they were active in their disease drinking and/or abusing drugs.